Lately, I have been thinking in the great treasures I have in my life today, and all of them are related to the ones I love and the passions I have around me. Also, I see that all of them have something in common. Everything and everybody around me, all I have done and all I have left behind, have time at the essence of their commonality.
Photo by Harli Marten
Today, I see time as what I have and what I want to treasure, however not to keep it but rather to appreciate it.
Some years ago, my son and I held a conversation in which he argued how rushed he was to achieve what he wanted, how relevant it was for him to attain his goal at a certain period of his life. I must confess, I was deeply touched and inspired by his determination and passion to obtain what he wanted. All of him was aligned pro his objectives. Fascinating to admire such of motivation! On the other hand, I couldn’t stop asking myself, what would it happened if what he wanted did not happen, or if it was transformed, or just stopped being important.
How much time (money and energy – according to his interpretation) he would have dedicated, and what value would he give it in the future?
Well, I am mentioning this conversation because I saw myself in him. I remember that motivation and determination for the possible achievements; I feel excited just to remember it!
I see what I have done and how much of what I had set up as goals did not happen, or simply today it is not as important as it was in that moment, or also the fact that I have forgotten what I was chasing with so much trouble.
I feel nostalgic, raged, happy and other thousand of emotions for what happened and did not happen, for all I have achieved and what I could not attain (considering at that moment that it was in my hands to make things different … Ha, ha, ha!). I also think on all of those who believed in my vision to transform the world (obviously, I am talking about my world), and all of those who stepped down because they found a personal vision to pursue.
Today, I know I have limited time. I am not sick and I don´t have a terminal illness, however I am aware that I have less time. Time that I can use as I want, in what I want, and with who I want. I think of all the goals I had, and I realize that they are not there any more; today, I have others, and time is central in this path.
Obviously, this reflection is part of aging, and those conversations that I have entered lately related to the end of life … Ha, ha, ha!
I laugh not because I find it funny, but because it seems ironic to realize that time has been by my side and I have used it with little wisdom, and today is helping me to become a little wise.
Time is the same for everyone, neither fast nor slow. Even though depending on what is going on in a particular event, perception varies, something like the temperature, it says 2 degrees and later it is mentioned it feels like -10 degrees, and that one makes sense.
Today, I want to see time; I want to be at time´s mercy because that is in reality what I have. I have been thinking about this for a long time, but I am still going around it.
In a workshop I attended some time ago (those in which I had to do weird things), the instructor asked the following question: what gift are you to the world? I didn´t know how to respond or what to do, so I did what it seems ridiculous today, I stared at the other participants and felt completely inadequate. However, the question has stuck with me since then, and little by little, time (my big treasure) has helped me to find lights to illuminate the answer.
We can all ask ourselves these questions and others, and if they stay with us for a while, it is a sign of reflection, search, wonder and a genuine look at ourselves.
I invite you to give yourself those moments in which you will allow yourself to be in these big questions, with no rush, no goal, no ending … give yourself time and see what happens.
Note: to those asking about my son, well a little bit of everything. He is where he wanted to be, his goal have transformed, and many things have been left behind because they do not seem as relevant for the future journey.